Our first week with Baby Justin

Hi everyone-new mom here. This is the first time I have had a free second to update a blog post. This week has been a whirlwind....Between the long hospital stay and coming home just 3 days ago everything has been a blur. Let me first tell you how beautiful our baby boy is and how much we love him. I've always heard the saying there is nothing quite like a mother's love and I can't explain how much this little ball of almost 10 pounds makes my heart melt everytime I look at him and hold him.

Some highlights from our first few days home:
-Our first night home was rough and we were up pretty much all night (mind you I was running on about 2 hours a sleep per night even in the hospital!) We made it throught it though!
-Breastfeeding has been going ok, although he has a tough time latching on; we're working on it though! To help out we are breastfeeding (expressing) by day and doing formula in the overnight hours which seems to be a great compromise.
-Last night my mom and Steven made me try to get some rest so they took turns with the overnight feedings (thank you!) The best part which I am sad I missed was Justin had an explosive poop while Steven was changing him LOL. It was all over Steven, the walls, everything! I should tell you I was pooped on night 1 of our being home but nothing to this magnitude. :)
-Justin is our little Hercules and has really strong neck muscles! Most babies at this point have no strength, but he is doing great at having his head up most of the time.
-Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps so we are going to give that a whirl!


I will be honest, it is taking a lot to get adjusted. I'm a little embarassed to admit this, but as my friends and family I hope you can all understand. especially you women as mothers. I'm going through some post partum depression....I'm so overwhelmed, scared, crying on and off and I am on this emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs. I've even had the crazy thoughts that Steven might leave me because of the baby weight gain and ect. I know that is insane but my mind is racing all the time with thoughts of, "Am I a good mom?" Thoughts of guilt for everyone having to help out especially Steven. You all know he works 3rd shift and how much sleep he gets (or doesn't get) I jus don't want him to be tired all the time. I feel guilty for having to have our parents help us out. I'm scared of the unknown and work and money...it's never ending. I hate feeling this way...Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment to get some guidance and help and I hope it helps because I don't like haivng these feelings. This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life and while I am happy and I love Justin, I am just having a hard time. Thank you to Steven who is the most supportive person and loving man I know, he's been thre for me everyday giving me reassurance and loving me and to my parents, I can't put to words how much you are helping me....Please pray for me, I want to get over this hump of sadness and enjoy every moment happy.

Justin also has his first doctor's appointment tomorrow! We are really looking forward to that to have our many list of questions answered! :)

Thanks for letting me talk about how I feel and what I am going through. I know this is Justin's blog and I feel selfish for writing about me, but it really seems to help me out. I try to add picture tomorrow....