Birthday Blessings: 4th Birthday

Finding time to keep up with this blog has been more than challenging, but today is a very special and a day that cannot be ignored or put off for another day...4 years ago today, God blessed me in the most amazing way. For this is the day we welcomed our beautiful baby boy, Justin Alexander Hawes. His personality completely matches how he came into this world; fast, furious and on his own terms. Strong, determined, stubborn and an absolute joy.

Looking back through the blog, I realize I've never completely shared the story of Justin's birth....so without further delay, let's take a step back in time.....

Justin's initial due date was August 19th 2008, but by mid July it was clear we probably wouldn't be making it to that point. He was measuring more than 10 pounds and mom was incredibly uncomfortable with toxemia, water retention, and borderline gestational diabetes. Mom was put on bed rest for the most part and spent her final weeks plopped in Dad's leather chair with her feet propped up. Beyond uncomfortable, feeling trapped and not getting much sleep, Mom welcomed a visit from Grammy and Grandpa Hawes. It was the weekend of July 25th. Mom was in her usual position and her only solice was it was Tiger's baseball season. :) The visit from your grandparents took my mind off of all my discomfort. That Sunday, July 27th they headed back to Fremont. After they left, Dad took his normal nap before working that evening. Mom had a craving for some Fruit Loops, so as she indulged she noticed she was feeling really funny; light headed, dizzy and having sharp pains in her back and chest.

Mom called Dr. Archer who told her to head over to the hospital to get checked out. Nana Kapla took Mom and as the nurses hooked Mom up to the blood pressure monitor it was clear something was wrong. Mom was dangerously close to having a stroke and after several attempts to control the blood pressure the doctor's came in and said baby Justin would be making his grand entrance via emergency cesarian section asap. And baby Justin wasn't taking well to Mom's blood pressure problems. Unfortunately, the earlier bowl of fruit loops came back to haunt Mom.  The doctor's wanted to try and keep Mom stable enough to allow the Fruit Loops to pass for a safer anethesia process. Thank those fruit loops, your bday could have been the 27th! ;)

And so the waiting game began. Up until that point everything was happening so fast. The doctor's really wanted Mom to remain calm. The words Mom and calm don't really go hand in hand. Mom's one of the most anxious people you will meet. To stay occuppied, we called Dad and told him to get his butt to the hospital and brought him up to speed on all the concerns. I am sure that wasn't exactly how Dad wanted to have his wake up call! En route, Dad called Grammy and Grandpa Hawes...who had just got back to Fremont and settled in. In fact, we think Grammy said she was watching Wizard of Oz (her favorite movie). Well, they had just enough time to wrap up their load of laundry and hit the road back to Ann Arbor. There was NO way they were going to miss your grand entrance!

Dad got to the hospital and then came the longest, most uncomfortable 4 hours of our lives. Finally, the doctor's and nurses came in, hooked Mom up to an IV. The next thing we knew Dr. Archer was coming in to provide us some comfort and Dad was walking out of the bathroom wearing some scrubs. Before we knew it Dad kissed Mom on the forehead, squeezed her had and told her he loved her....Being rolled into the OR was one of the most terrifying, lonely moments of her life.

The OR was cold and bright. All of the nurses and techs and the anethesiologist were so wonderful and caring, but Mom still felt so scared and alone. She just really wanted Dad by her side. The 2nd scariest moment for Mom was having to receive the epideral. Really, who enjoys having needles stuck into their spine?! It seemed like it took forever as Mom curled into that little ball and one of the nurses held her. That's when the emotion of everything began and Mom started crying.....She was scared and worried and all she wanted was baby Justin to be out, safe and healthy. All she wanted was to hear his cry....Tears streaming down her face, completely numb and paralyzed, she was finally prepped and such joy came over her as Dad was finally allowed to come in. The entire experience was so surreal. Happiness, joy, fear, vulerable...you name it Mom felt it.

Then, the tugging occurred. No pain, just pressure and the then....the sudden urge to barf. The anethesiologist had Mom's back immediately and pumped her full of meds which quickly made that urge pass (God love em!). Then, the moment we had been waiting for for months....your cry....the most beautiful sound in the world. That cry could have opened the gates of Heaven. All Mom kept saying is, "Is he ok? Is he ok?" Everyone assured Mom he was ok. Mom had tears streaming down her face with joy. Dad kissed her and Mom told him to go be with our blessed angel. Mom was able to look at your absolutely perfect face very briefly, then someone gently said they would be taking you (all 9 pounds 15 ounces of you) to the NICU. Mom really should have been panicing, but there were some complications with Mom....Poor Dad didn't know what to do or where to go. Mom told him to be with you. Once they left, Mom was left with the doctor's to work on her. Not a lot was being said, but some of the things Mom overheard were, "We've got to get this bleeding to stop.....We're going to need several units." Oddly enough, Mom was calm....it may have been the medication, or the loss of blood, but Mom firmly believes God was with her, comforting her. And as completely odd as it is to share this, Mom was at complete peace with whatever the outcome was. Something told her whatever happened would happen and she was at peace with that. Thankfully, with God's grace, the doctor's were able to get the bleeding under control and Mom was rolled into recovery.

Mom was high as a kite, babbling nonsensical things. She is sure she was comic relief for the recovery staff. :) Soon enough she was able to see all your grandparents, who surely enjoyed the comedic show that you know as your mom. But, it wasn't all laughs.....between the babbling were many, many tears. No one would tell her what was going on with you. Finally, Dad came to see me and shared some news with me. He shared you had some problems breathing on your own, but you were strong and a fighter. Being wheeled out from recovery Mom demanded to see you and hold you. Thankfully, no one argued (so help them if they tried haha). Dad warned Mom you would be hooked up to a lot of tubes and wires....So there you were. Yes, the wires and tubes were noticed, but what Mom saw was a perfect little miracle. The moment Mommy held you, was a moment that was frozen in time. It was me and you and nothing else in the world mattered. It was at that moment Mom truly understood the meaning of a Mother's Love.....

The days that followed were a blur and filled with tears and joy. Mom knew you were getting amazing care and she visited you everyday in the NICU. But, shortly after 2 days the doctor's became concerned with Mom. Her blood levels weren't doing so good. Mom was weak and very sick. Several days and several units of blood later Mom was on the upswing....and so you were! The NICU staff called you Baby Brutus because you were the biggest baby they had ever seen in the NICU and you finally were healthy enough to join me in my room. Finally, our family was complete. We had a lot of  visitors...a lot of love and a lot of blessings. FINALLY, 5 days after you were born we were both given the thumbs up to go home. Yay!

Here we are 4 years later.....It seems just like yesterday, but here you are before me growing into a big boy. I can't wait to see the boy and man you become. I know you are destined for something big in life. Although, I am sure a lot of Mom's believe this about their children, but know I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you have everything and anything you need in life to succeed and follow your dreams. The sky is the limit my love. You CAN do and you CAN achieve whatever you want. Mom and Dad love you, support you and believe in you. You give us a reason to believe and we believe in YOU.....Happy Birthday my darling. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness and love, your Mommy....