The Chronicles of the Hawes Kids

Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Potty Training Zone

Without getting into too much detail the last few months have been difficult for Steven, Justin and I thus the blog hiatus. We apologize for the delay in posts but those of you close enough to know us know what has occurred. Thankfully we are at a point where we can look ahead to the future continue to live each day as a family full of happiness, hope and most importantly love. Justin has been quite the busy little guy this past summer. We had a wonderful vacation to Traverse City, quite a few adventures and of course, he is now the big 3! Soon enough I am hoping to get the photos all uploaded for you to enjoy.....

At this point and time Justin is conquering potty training. Potty training has proven to be quite the journey. As a mom you think sleepless nights, teaching them to walk and talk and socialize are a challenge, well you haven't been to the potty training zone! This has to be one of the most challenging things Steven and I have ever endured. It's a marathon so we need to pace ourselves. Of course, we thought it was going to be a piece of cake but boy did J prove us wrong. He is in complete control of the situation and running the show. It's really starting to click with him and he's doing a good job telling us and keeping his pants dry. We haven't quite prevailed on #2....but hey, like I said, it's a marathon. There is an end in sight, I can feel it! So, for all my mommy friends out there, have some faith....and lots of patience....extra underware and bribery treats/stickers. I've learned to laugh and just enjoy the memories. No use crying over slipped pee ;)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Memorial Day Weekend 2011

Sorry for the delay in posts. The past month has been very difficult for us, but we have begun to find peace and strength each and every day. We know Ben is with us and he is now in God's house cloud jumping and watching down on us. Our pastor said it perfectly, Ben is still with us, he just has a different address. We hold onto our faith knowing he is loved and we'll one day be together again. We would like to thank everyone for all of their love and support this past month and the continued support in the days ahead....

Well, this weekend was quite the whirlwind. It all started with all of our friends and family making the long trek to Ann Arbor for Ben's Memorial Service (which was absolutely beautiful). As bittersweet as it was, it was wonderful to have all the family together. Justin LOVED all of the attention and let's face it, he gets it all! Saturday evening we all gathered at the hotel reception area where we ate some pizza, enjoyed some beverages, played some pool, watched some baseball and went swimming in the pool. Might I add that mama is quite the pool shark! ;)

Sunday we got all 15 of us together for breakfast at Bob Evans and said our good-byes. (boo!) Justin's god-mother, Auntie Teresa (mommy's best friend) made the long trip from Wisconsin for the service and stayed the entire weekend. (yay!) It was a beautiful day so all of us went and walked around downtown A2 and through campus. We met up with our friend Laura and enjoyed a wonderful lunch at Grizzley Peak Brewing Co......for several hours. It doesn't sound like much but it was an amazing day and Justin loved walking through the diag and going for big boy walks, jumping in puddles.

Monday we said buh-bye to Auntie Teresa (boo!) but then went to Gallup Park (yay!) and had a lovely picnic that daddy prepared. We also rented a paddle boat. Justin got to sport his sponge bob square pants life vest. Despite the vest mama was quite paranoid about J-man falling in the water. Justin loved paddling under the bridges and people watching. We even saw a pair of swans with their babies! Afterward we went to the cemetary where "Ben sleeps". Grammy and Grandpa Hawes gave Justin a couple of American Flags before they left and Justin wanted to bring one to Ben along with 3 yellow roses. It was so cute and we love how he knows Ben is in heaven and likes to include him and talk about him. Later in the day while Justin was napping mommy and daddy enjoyed some beverages on the front porch swing and enjoyed the beautiful weather. We wrapped the day up with dinner on the Aubree's patio.

It's such a shame amazing weekends like this have to end, but at least we have lots to look forward to like our trip to Traverse City in less than 2 weeks! 10 whole days of family & fun! We cannot wait!!!!!

Enjoy some photos and a quick video from our wonderful weekend~

Gallup Park; enough said!

Laura and Mama

Mama & Auntie T-sa

Justin and mama (who apprently had a little attitude with the hip action lol)

Boys will be boys!

Family pic!

RIP Benjamin Chance Hawes; we miss you!

Justin leaving a gift for his brother. 0:)

Saturday, April 30, 2011

In Memorium

Steven and I are deeply devastated to share the loss of our expecting baby. Our world was turned upside down April 28th, 2011, as we attended a routine ultrasound. Our doctor was unable to indicate a heartbeat and even called in a 2nd doctor for consult. It was unclear whether there was no heartbeat or if baby was just postured in a difficult position. We were immediately sent to the emergency room for a more thorough examination and after several hours of blood work and ultrasounds it was confirmed that baby was gone....

As I did not have a typical miscarriage and as I was so far along I will be having surgery on Tuesday. We will be attending a Pregnancy and Newborn Loss Memorial on Monday at St. Joseph Mercy Hospital and after my surgery the baby will be buried at the hospital memorial garden. We truly take comfort in having the ability to go somewhere and grieve and remember. That will be key to our healing.

In this very moment I am dying inside and feel as if my whole world has stopped. I'm angry to see people laughing and smiling and carrying on with their lives. It just isn't fair....I realize these are all irrational emotions but I can't help the anger. Am I angry with God? Yes. Do I believe God loves me and is loving our baby, yes. I've come to terms that God loves me and understands my anger. His shoulders are large enough to bare it all for me. It seems God needed my baby for something larger than we could understand but so did we and if that is selfish of me so be it.

We know the days and weeks and months ahead will be difficult but we turn to God, our family and our friends to carry us through it. It's all I can do to get through each day.

A message to our angel baby:
I loved you from the moment I knew you existed. I fantisized about whether you would be a beautiful baby boy/girl and if you would have my dark raven hair or your daddy's blonde hair. I wondered if you would have my outgoing spitfire personality or if you would be the laid back take it with ease type of person like your daddy. I had your nursery planned in my mind and I began to plan our families future to include a 4th little person. I started researching larger vehicles, daycare costs and even made a list of things we were going to need for your arrival. I thought about how lucky you were going to be to have an amazingly loving big brother who was going to want to teach you all about the world and protect you. Your big brother was so proud. The first time I saw your little heart beat I melted and I knew you were strong...It seems to us little one that God had bigger and better plans for you and that meant us never being able to be together. I have no doubt we will meet again and you will be shining down on us each day. I love you and I will think of you everyday and I am so excited for when you will someday meet me at heavens gates. That day will definately be joyous. I love you beautiful....and I know you are surrounded by all the love of the people that we have lost before you who are in heaven. I know you are well taken care of. Just know your mommy loves you and will keep you in her heart forever.
Until we meet again,
Mommy

To Justin, my big boy,
I know you do not fully understand what is happening right now and I am sorry you've had to see mommy cry. One day you will fully understand and you will understand how much YOUR love got me through this time. Your smile, your hugs, your love is what helps me survive. I am strong because of you and although the baby is in heaven you will always be a big brother to the baby. Do not ever forget this and don't ever forget how much me and your daddy love you.
Love Forever,
Mommy

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Resurrection of the Blog

Ok, we don't claim to be perfect. We have been down right awful at keep up with J-Man's blog seeing the last entry was in February about our December holiday trip....Sigh....Well, we have a renewed spirit and motivation to bring back the blog. That right! We want you to know we are committed to you, our fine viewers, and the quality blog entertainment you deserve. With that said we thought we would come back with a bang of epic proportion....

If you've been living under a rock you probably haven't heard, JUSTIN IS GOING TO BE A BIG BROTHER! That's right, we did it again....lol well poor choice of words, but you get our point. We will be welcoming a new edition to our family the week of November 28th 2011. We are in the unique position to control the timing of baby's arrival into this world any day that week so baby could be a November baby or a December baby. We are heavily debating this decision and are we not taking this undertaking lightly. We turn to you to help us in making the best decision for baby. Your thoughts are welcomed. :)

Justin is very excited about the baby, as much as an almost 3 year old can grasp the entity of baby in the belly. He adores babies and while we know this we know it isn't going to be a walk in the park with transition so we will be turning to our family and friends with kids for love, support and advice about transitioning little J.

Please continue to stay tuned for the adventures our family is about to embark on. We are sure there will be laughter, but we are sure there will be tears as well but no matter what the case we are sure there will be a lifetime of memories along the way! Cheers to 2011 and the changes ahead!